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gotchi:

superduperemily:

gotchi:

I hate straight people

*face gets really red and swollen and puffy and pissed off looking*

/you are a butt face/

What the fuck

troyleroakley:

y’all

jfef:

i have watched this video well over 200 times & ive laughed every single fucking time

batlock:

So.

Cards Against Humanity.

I’m a big fan. Well, I bought this.

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It’s great. It hold all of my shit. But it holds something else too.

If you have it, open your box.

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You see how I started to tear away at the top of the box there?

Do that.

Do it carefully.

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Holy shit.

There’s something in there. What could that be?

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There’s a card.

There is a card literally hidden in the top of the box.

But what card?

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I fucking love these people.

anaisforthewin:

shapeshiftandtrick:

ryan-aniki:

shapeshiftandtrick:

how does one tell a boy that one likes him

I am a boy and have a foolproof plan for this:

  1. text them and start playing one of those 20q games
  2. if they start being a dodgy fella drop em
  3. if they ask “You like anyone?”
     reply Yeah, you.
  4. If they give you a negative reply sayin they dont like you back then just correct yourself to “*Yeah, you?”

dude that is genius

slow clappin’ it out.

Anonymous
asks:
One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?

rats-in-the-walls:

deadinmagazines:

stripperina:

Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.

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Oh snap

BOOOOM

nutella-and-wifi:

homo-fallen-angel:

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My activity spikes every Wednesday because of this post 

always reblog on a wednesday, that’s the rule.

Dammit its Wednesday and I would have been rethinking scrolling past this all day if I didn’t reblog

theonewhosawitall:

lokithesnarkworld:

staff:

andrew-satan-hussie:

Man I feel really bad for the Tumblr Staff because I bet they aimed for Tumblr to be a cool, suavé, photographic place for artists but in reality it’s made up of hormonal teenagers who obsess over gay fictional characters, and can’t even handle the reblog button turning green to teal

IT IS MINT GREEN

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I’VE REBLOGGED THIS TWICE BEFORE REALISING THAT THE STAFF SAID THAT!

Even if we’re married for 23 years,
I still want you to flirt with me.
A novel written by me. (via princessariel2323)
PEOPLE ARE LIKE RASPBERRIES

teamfreekickass:

kreativedragon:

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Some are dark skinned

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Some are light skinned

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Some are big and some are small

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Some look ‘complete’ and other might not be quite there

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But no matter what

If you put them together

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And blend them up

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They taste pretty darn good

I’m getting you professional help. 

themobilemovement:

Text Definition: “K”

themobilemovement:

Text Definition: “K”

vinebox:

Getting ready for the first day of school like

beyoncebeytwice:

i love how no matter how badly you fuck up benadryl cumquat’s name everyone on here still knows who ur talking about

In the scene where Sean starts talking about his dead wife and her farting antics the lines were ad-libbed by Robin Williams, which is why Matt Damon is laughing so hard. The scene took everyone by surprise. According to Damon in the DVD commentary, this caused the cameraman to laugh so hard that the camera can be seen moving up and down slightly.

GET TO KNOW ME MEME → [1/5] favorite relationships: Hazel Grace Lancaster & Augustus Waters